"Deeply attached to an unstable mother."
I will never have children. I had my opportunity, but it is too late now, my experience has made me hate the idea.
Also, I am actually a piece of shit and my mood vacillates so often, I could never subject a person who is solely dependent on me to any such instability.
But the absolutely horrible part of it; I do want to have a child. Just one. Just one to be a caring mother to, and I know I can never achieve any semblance of that, so I just won’t.
It is a constant and sharp tugging. “You feel upset about what your slow, sloppy mass of a body has failed to achieve?. “You can’t quite decide what your always dulling brain is suggesting you are supposed to become at this juncture in your life?”
Just drink! Alcohol! At all times that you are not in the workplace! Hate yourself more than you ever thought possible! Pull and tug at all your hanging and sebaceous skin until you can find no reason to carry out your existence! Paste your self-worth precisely on how others react to your presence! Always be sorry! For anything! Even if you have committed no discernible offense!